The Lost and Lonely Child
by Kellifer Monkey
Summary: [Truth or Consequences, N.M. 1997] A challenge with ChloeO'Brian. Starring Kiefer Sutherland & Vincent Gallo. Curtis' roots and a little more delving into his friendship with Ray. Some violent themes and adult language. COMPLETE!


Curtis Freley ran his fingers through his neat strawberry blond hair and tapped the rhythm of the old song his father used to sing to get him to sleep, on the barrel of his Berretta Elite. The song, without fail, managed to calm him and whenever he needed to just close the world out, he'd find himself humming the little ditty in an effort to just let go. If ever he needed to be singing, it was now.   
  
The gun belonged to his best friend, Joey Capriatti. The man had taken care of it as though it were his baby, and now Curtis found himself using the handkerchief from his pocket to scrub any trace of blood from the shiny black metal. His eagerness to please however was not removed as easily as the role model had been.  
  
Curtis gazed over at the beaten and broken body of his one real friend, slumped across the Formica kitchen table where he had fell. No one knew Curtis was in the reputably safe confines of Tony Vago's apartment; no one had seen him stake the place out, even over the six month period he'd been doing it. He was meticulous in his organisation and yet it had all gone wrong.  
  
They were meant to be stealing the hundred thousand dollar reward for finding Eddie Grillo's compadre Ray Lembecke. Curtis wasn't quite sure why Joey wanted the money and didn't ask any further questions when the older man told him it was just necessary. 'Strange way of putting it', Curtis had thought, but he rarely pushed a point, particularly when he felt out of his depth. Things like that tended to make him impatient or aggressive. He knew exactly where this tendency came from, but right now, thinking of the past and all of his mistakes and misjudgements, wouldn't help one iota.  
  
Joey was dead and for all the love he had for his friend; and yes it was love, not of a sexual kind, but that of a true friend. A person who could be depended on through anything, a friend who would go out of his way to…  
  
Sit on his butt and watch while his best friend is painfully tortured by one of Vago's men, a particularly nasty guy known as Rickman in this case. Then cower in a corner fearing for his own life while the rest of the gang wandered off to do their drinking and their sport, and Joey slowly and painfully passed away.  
  
Curtis couldn't move. He'd watched his Daddy die in much the same way, fourteen years ago and been able to do nothing. From that day to this he'd sworn to himself he'd never let a friend down again. He'd never be caught off guard or unarmed and every plan he had, would be fool proof.   
  
"Where did I go wrong?" Curtis drawled to himself as he nipped at the nubs of flesh on the edges of his neat cut and nibbled fingernails.  
  
Then a door opened and in walked the man to blame for all this trouble. Not Vago. No he probably didn't even risk going to the bathroom alone; and from what Curtis had been overhearing, that was part of the guy's pleasure. No the man that Curtis Freley blamed for the death of his friend at that moment in time, was the man who drew them into all this mess. Ray Lembecke didn't really look how Curtis had imagined he would. He was quite a startled, nervous looking guy; without even the modicum of muscular threat, that Curtis offered any attacker.  
  
This was the guy that Vago was paying one hundred thousand dollars to find… it wasn't even like it was for a hit. He wanted the guy alive! Who the hell was he and what did he have on Vago that kept him so comfortable in this hell hole, anyway? Curtis shifted his weight onto his left foot and the closet door creaked almost as much as his aching back.  
  
"Who's there?" Lembecke said in a hushed voice. "You had better come out… you need to get the hell out of here before Vago comes looking for trouble."  
  
Curtis was too nervous to even breathe at that point. He glanced back at Joey's lifeless corpse and prayed that he wasn't going to go that way too.  
  
He understood the rules of this game all to well; everything that happened there had been like some strange form of déjà vu. It all reminded him of a day that he rarely found the strength to look back on. A day his whole world changed and the day he felt he became a man.  
  
His Daddy had shown him what the world was really about when he and his three older brothers were just little kids. His father Nick, had been a union man, working at the local engineering plant; but when they closed and some foreign car company came to take over his small town with their gaudy advertising and boorish commercials; his father found new ways to support a family.  
  
It had started when he began to gamble to cover his loss of income. Ellen, Curtis' mother, was a pretty formidable woman and one that wasn't too keen on her husband's flights of fancy interfering with their family life. When Nick came to her and said he was unhappy with the proposed move to the manufacturing plant, she told him to quit complaining and swallow those fantasies up.  
  
'Nick, we can't afford to be choosey here, it's enough to have to feed the boys without another on the way.'   
  
Curtis worshipped his Daddy. His brother's were from Ellen's first marriage and while Curtis was always polite and friendly to the three older boys; he always felt left out of their circle. He was too little to play on the ice pond, he was too young to understand playing card games and he was too naïve to understand the pleasures of a beautiful teenage waitress at Mackey's down on Foxburgh. But Nick didn't care how little or naïve Curtis was. To Nick, Curtis' naivety was a bonus. Who would enjoy his fairytale dreams and hopes, better than a little kid, who couldn't get enough of his father's tall tales?  
  
It was this bond between the two men, which led to Nick's late night confession. Curtis was almost sixteen and had always been Daddy's favourite; so when Nick needed to tell someone the truth about where he went at nights, Curtis was the perfect candidate. That night changed young Curtis' life forever.  
  
Ray's shadow crept along the slither of parquet flooring that Curtis could make out through the louvered doors of the closet. He tensed and found himself tapping his fingers on his gun nervously. Then Ray stopped and listened; this man could hunt like a hawk and had the stance of a wild cat. Curtis couldn't help but admire the guy's natural instincts and wasn't aware of his own subconscious plan to replace Joey already.  
  
"Come on man, I know you are here. Joey told me he wasn't coming alone…" Curtis felt a spinning feeling in the pit of his stomach; 'Joey wouldn't have been in with this guy without telling him, surely?'  
  
"Come on, Curtis isn't it? Get out before Vago gets back and kicks both our asses!" Curtis' curiosity got the better of him and he edged the door open with his right foot as he stood at an angle and aimed the gun at Lembecke's head.   
  
Ray didn't even blink as he made out the berretta pointing directly between his eyes. He turned away from Curtis and walked to the kitchen window and flicked back the net curtain with his fingers. Then with an expression that said a mixture of 'what the fuck are you looking at?' and 'well what are you waiting for, idiot?' Ray walked towards the back door and gestured for Curtis to follow.  
  
"Hey man, wait up. I have the gun you know?" Ray turned and made an admirable attempt to disguise his sneer.  
  
"Yeah, so I see. I have one of those too, and I know where the dough is. So are you going to stop fooling around and come with me; or would you rather wait around for Vago to take out his double losses on your panicky ass?" Curtis put the gun in the waist band of his pants and followed Ray without another word.  
  
As they waited for the maid to entice one of the guards from the billiard room, Curtis had the courage to ask what he'd been wondering about for a very long time.  
  
"What makes you worth a hundred thousand dollars anyway, Lembecke?" It wasn't particularly eloquent; but that wasn't Curtis' style. "You are one scrawny looking cat, man. I can't see why…"  
  
"I found Vago doing his sister; its hush money. I suggest that's what you do, before you get us both caught!" Curtis had heard stories about Vago and what he did for thrills but this was something else.   
  
"Guess that's what happens when you watch too much TV. All these sick fucks going around… hell, my sister would kick my ass…" Ray turned to Curtis with an impatient and anxious look.  
  
"Curtis, I know you had no one to talk to in a cupboard for three hours but, shut up man!"  
  
"Sorry."   
  
Curtis had always had a habit of running his mouth; it was something he must have inherited from his old man. Only Nick knew what was true and what were the product of his imaginings; and just chose to live in his mind rather than face up to his miserable life. Curtis was never really sure what was true or what to believe in. Growing up on fairytales made him live in a kind of childlike awe of everything. Things could amaze him and take his mind off on journeys that his feet and his wallet would never let him go.   
  
Now the plan had changed; he wondered if he would get any of the cash he was looking forward to taking away. He'd planned to use the money to leave the country; drive up to Manitoba where his father had a cabin and take his little sister with him. Little Janey didn't know her father very long before he died, but she knew his, and Curtis' stories about him, well enough to develop his personality. She was fifteen and couldn't stand the rest of her family. Curtis was going to take her away and keep a promise to his father in the process.  
  
The night Nick told his son about his new job would be the pivotal moment in Curtis' development as a man. They sat together in the front of his Chevrolet Chevelle and Curtis grinned from ear to ear at the prospect of owning this beaut of a car by the time he turned sixteen.   
  
"Curtis, I need to know that you are going to be able to handle this responsibility. You know you're brothers aren't going to like it one bit." It was difficult to believe that Curtis' smile could get any wider and yet somehow he managed to find even more joy at owning the Chevy, knowing it would really piss off his brothers.  
  
"I can deal with them Dad. Don't worry about me!" Nick grabbed his son around the right wrist firmly and fixed him with a grim look.  
  
"I do worry Curtis. You are almost a man now and you go about without a care in the world; someone is going to hurt you bad one day if you keep going on like this. You need someone to keep an eye on you… I wish you would get along with your brothers sometimes..." Nick realised these harsh realities were worrying his son and decided to step back a little. This after all wasn't like him.  
  
"You know the world isn't a very nice place Curt, sometimes you have to do things that… well, that you wouldn't have considered when life was…" Curtis looked confused. He was never really the sharpest tool in the box, his naivety wasn't all down to the consumption of fairytale; but he wasn't a fool either. There was something different about Nick Freley that night.  
  
"But Dad, things aren't so bad. I know you and Mom… well you don't always get along. Heck Mom has always been difficult to get a long with but…"  
  
"Curtis you are a good boy. I know you want to help… but your mother is right. I'm no good as a father anymore. Your sister can't even go to the good school because I can't afford to buy her the things she needs…" Nick hushed his son before he could come up with reasons to defend him and his behaviour.  
  
"I'm going to go away. I have a cabin… it belonged to your grandfather, up in Manitoba. I'm going to get away and work so that I can send some decent money back and look after you guys properly."  
  
"I can get a job Dad. You don't have to leave… you could get me a job at the plant… they always need people. I'll buy Janey the stuff she needs… I'll…"  
  
"Curtis, no! You have to listen to me. I have to go away… I… Curt, I don't work at the plant anymore… I work for a man called Vago… I do jobs for him… I run errands." Curtis' face fell. He held his father in the highest regard and this was a blow to his inspiration. 'How could his father, really just be an errand boy?'  
  
"Well I can do that, Dad. I can run errands for this guy and then we'll make more money and…"  
  
"Curtis, you don't understand. I have to go away because of the errands. Mr Vago… he wants me to do things, things that I think are wrong and I have to go away until he gets someone else to do the little job for him. Then I can come home and…"  
  
"But Dad, I don't want you to go away. I could do the errands…" Nick got mad at this and a fiery look appeared in his eyes.  
  
"Curtis if I don't agree with these things, why in God's name would I let you do them? I'm going away to earn real money. I want to be a man again Curt. Not someone's lackey." He sighed and tried desperately to find away to make their parting easier.   
  
"This world will play you, son. It's all a game. There are good guys and bad guys, Curtis. I don't want to be one of those forever hunted down for the mistakes he made. I want to make things right… I should have just listened to your mother from the start."  
  
"No Dad, she doesn't believe in you. She just wants you to do things that make her comfortable and secure. You are so much more than that Dad. You are a free spirit and you're brave and…"  
  
Curtis wanted nothing more than to always have his father near by; to have him tell his tales over and over, while he mouthed the stories along with him because he knew them so well. Though that time had forever passed and nothing young Curtis could do would change the old man's mind. It didn't mean he wouldn't try.  
  
Ray led the way into the billiard room and crawled under the table to the false compartment that held the cash; over five hundred thousand dollars in drug money and the so-called reward.  
  
"Why are you getting out of here then, Lembecke… aren't you safer on the good side of these guys now?" Curtis asked as they made their way out across the pool room and down into the garden.  
  
"You make choices, Curtis. They might keep me onside for a while but it's only a matter of time and I'm not going back to jail for Vago and his sick games." Ray stopped and tinkered with the lock of one of Vago's cars.  
  
"I have a car." Curtis said assertively. "Down the road… it's out of the way…"  
  
"We'll take this one." Ray said without even turning around to face his accomplice. Curtis wasn't about to leave his Daddy's car behind. He'd rather risk getting shot or worse… than leave the one material possession he loved behind.  
  
"You take what you want man. I'm getting my car." With that he walked out of the drive and down the street with a slight swagger to his hips and slick smile playing over his lips. Ray had no choice but to follow; if he didn't want them both getting caught, or having to see Curtis spread all over the gravel driveway.  
  
The day's events fixed their friendship and as always the thrill of getting away with it, cemented a bond that seemed plucked from the stale air in Vago's kitchen. Curtis had someone to look out for him once more and he wasn't as lost as he'd thought he'd be when he watched Joey die. His Daddy was right. There were good guys and there were bad guys and he hadn't got caught.  
  
He had a new buddy now and things always seemed to fit his idealistic compartments when there was someone else to confide in and play out the games with. Years passed in a haze of narcotics and small time scams and Curtis became a junkie for both the lifestyle and the cocaine that so regularly passed through his hands.  
  
The harsh realities of his past seeped away and fantasies played out in a drug filled haze and kept the child alive inside him just a little longer. 'Cops and robbers' was becoming more dangerous by the day; but the thrill of the chase and the denial of that one time; long, long ago, seemed to disappear into the background.  
  
It wasn't until he came face to face with Vago once more that he found his father's words ringing in his head.  
  
'There are good guys and bad guys, Curtis. I don't want to be one of those forever hunted down for the mistakes he made.'  
  
He wouldn't make the same mistake again. Vago knew who he was from the stories passed around, but he didn't know who Curtis had been. As Curtis Freley watched the man take strips off his friend in front of his armed bodyguards, he found that old thirst for vengeance burning inside him again. He could see that day in his mind as though it were made up of tiny screenshots from a black and white TV set. Why do events like that always come back in monochromatic scenes, he wondered. Is it to add to the atmosphere or just his mind playing the scene as though they were part of the Twilight Zone?  
  
Curtis waited while Vago lambasted Ray for a cock up that was all down to him. His eyes were frosted over as the scene once more played out in his mind. If only Curt had waited a few more days before going to offer his services to Vago back then. Nick could have left town and still be around sometimes for his son and young daughter. Curtis wanted to help, he'd have done anything for Nick… anything but the thing he'd asked… the thing he found it impossible to do. Grow up and be responsible.  
  
Now responsibility had to be taken for another screw up and this time as the pain of remembering became too much and tears filled Curtis' eyes; he used his anger in one final stand.  
  
Nick hadn't fought back. He'd been caught trying to leave town and break his bargain with one of the state's most formidable drug barons; he went with the goons in the hope they would give him another chance to explain. Curtis was bagging crack in the next room and the screams had become commonplace enough for him not to show a huge concern when it kicked off in the next room.  
  
Vago didn't want explanations, he didn't want the truth. He wanted Nick to pay for his mistakes, and pay he did. Blood was a far more interesting currency to play with than money, where Vago was concerned; and that day he got more than enough wealth from Curtis' father before the old guy was spent.  
  
Curtis recognised the pleading voice as he grabbed his coat and the twelve little baggies he was meant to be shifting that evening. He pushed his ear to the door as Nick pleaded for his life. He heard as his father begged for his family's sake, that he be given another chance. Then as the end came, he listened to the bravery of the one person he loved more than anything.  
  
"I'm not going to do your dirty work Vago. I'd rather be a dead man who his son can look up to and remember fondly, than the kind of scum you turn people into."  
  
His father had died from a final gunshot to the head and Curtis never even saw his body, let alone gave him the burial he deserved. The closest he got to Nick after that was finding his jacket in one of the side rooms in Vago's bar and his wedding band in his top pocket. As Curtis melted Vago's face to the burner in the corner of the office, he looked down at that same ring on his little finger.  
  
"I wish I could have been a good man like my father wanted, Vago. But a bad boy can do much more damage. You murdered two of the most important people in my life. Now it's your turn, bastard!"  
  
Friendship and honour may not mean so much to everyone, as it did to Curtis Freley that day; though they are pillars that bond us through so much of our lives. As Curtis walked away with a triumphant grin on his face; he thanked his lucky stars that he'd managed to do for one friend what he had always wished he could do for his father. Maybe now he deserved better than the life he'd cut for himself so far. Maybe now he could do all those well meaning things he'd promised to do… when all this was over he'd find a way to make it up to Nick.  
  
With his friend by his side and a whole lot of money and coke in his hand, the world was his oyster. Curtis was on top of the world and felt some good karma coming his way finally. He'd make a better life, he'd have his friend to look out for him and… dreams could come true.  
  
He spun his quarter on the back of his hand and wondered what he'd see when the trick played out. Dreaming a future and spinning his luck he walked on to the rest of the game, no longer being played, but changing the rules. 


End file.
